One Day At a Time

I said I would not be political

However I consider the trampling of women’s rights a principle of fundamental rights

And before I go further, I would like to remind everyone that they have a mother, a sister, a wife, a daughter, a friend, a respected colleague...

With all being revealed in the political clime, how would you feel if Roy Moore rode in on his horse, had his way and held, women hostage within the confines of the state, denied them their constitutional rights, reverting the back to indentured servants and chattel, allowing the ”boss man”, husband or otherwise directed, to have his way and perform whatever sexual desires, whenever, with no legal recourse because chattel means you are a piece of property or an animal, you have no independent existence, therefore no respect or rights. And as in days of yore, children may be ripped from their mother’s arms, even from the birthing bed. 

Mothers and daughters may be required to perform together, if sexual strangulation went too far and kills the woman who cares? She is legally not a person and another will take her place.  And the coup d’etas - could she testify in court? And if she did would he beat her for it, legally?

In the U.S., the courts continued to uphold a man's right to punish his wife with violence until 1871. In a case known as Fulgham vs. the State of Alabama, 46 Ala. 146-147 (1871)

Roy Moore country, the court ruled that, "The privilege, ancient though it may be, to beat her with a stick, to pull her hair, choke her, spit in her face or kick her about the floor or to inflict upon her other like indignities, is not now acknowledged by our law."

This means previously it was.

The rule of thumb, today a colloquialism meaning a general rule or principle, started out referring to measurements, carpenters using measurements with the tips of their thumbs. It devolved as referenced above into a term of legal wife beating.  You could legally beat your wife as long as it was with something, anything, no wider than your thumb. If you killed her, as long as the weapon fit the measurements you were golden. 

Early court opinions endorsed this rule of thumb along with the right of chastisement.  Particularly in the mid-Atlantic states and the southeastern states citing preservation of the sanctity and privacy of the home along with patriarchal ideas of discipline.

To elucidate, there was an infamous case Bradley v State, 1 Miss. 156 (1824).  The opinion in Bradley is the first published appellate court opinion in which the privilege of the rule of thumb and chastisement by a spouse were upheld by an American court.  Bradley is the first in three Mississippi Supreme Court opinions to address the right of chastisement.  It is cited for its tacit approval of it.  After a jury trial Bradley was convicted of assault and battery of his wife.  He appealed because the jury was not instructed that he was allowed to assault and batter the body of his wife.  The sole issue was whether a husband could commit an assault and battery upon the body of his wife.

The supreme court affirmed the conviction because the injuries were too severe to claim they were inflicted for purposes of moderate chastisement.  The court left on the books the common law right to chastisement.  The court held a husband could raise this defense to demonstrate that his wife’s injuries were the result of moderate chastisement.  The court acknowledged it abhorred the rule yet retained the privilege: “to screen from public reproach those who may be thus unhappily situated, let the husband be permitted to exercise the right of moderate chastisement, in cases of great emergency, and use salutary restraints in every case of misbehavior, without being subjected to vexatious prosecutions, resulting in the mutual discredit and shame of all parties concerned.”

Thankfully in Harris v State, 71 Miss. 462 (1893) while the court reversed the conviction of the husband due to insufficient evidence, the court, abrogated the common law rule calling the Bradley case a “revolting precedent”.  Finally in Gross v State, 135 Miss 624 (1924) the Mississippi Supreme Court upheld the husband’s conviction for assault and battery of his wife concluding that there was no privilege in favor of the husband against the wife in the common law offense of assault and battery.

These cases illustrate the way the courts treated all these cases at this time.  These were not isolated cases.  Although ironically in looking for case law many treatises swore there was never any case in the US which upheld the rule of thumb.  I knew that was not true so I dug a little deeper.  It was not immediately there, but it did not take me terribly long to find it.

I was born in the 60s grew up in the 70s first job in the 80s law school in the 80s.  While the Tri-State area was fairly progressive in the area of academia, when it came to the workplace, it was not.

The progression of fighting for women’s and equal rights was therefore quite natural.  Having two older outspoken sisters did not hurt either.  Nor having a mother who worked full-time. Learning to work twice as hard for what you wanted and telling men I am not your “hon” and “do not touch me”…was probably the first thing I said at my first job in 1981.   It helped that I had youth on my side, being 20 I did not know I could get fired for it, so I meant it when I said it, and fortunately I had a boss who would back me up.  I say that glibly.  I had a father that would not tolerate you not having a job.  I do believe the codicil to that would be, when you said…hey Dad, a guy tried to molest me!  Even he would give an exception to his never quit rule—as long as you immediately looked for another job, of course.

This first job I had, at a corporation, was eye opening for many reasons.

First, my boss was an amazing man who worked his way up from the mailroom. 

However he was African American therefore while he was Director of my department, they denied him any further promotion.  The Vice Presidency went to someone with no corporate experience whatsoever who ran over to my department every 5 minutes to ask what to do.  And if my boss was not there?  I told him what to do. At 20 years old, I was telling the guy in charge what to do, and I had no problem doing it!  To summarize, the head guy, was inept.  The qualified guy, was not getting promoted because he was a minority.  Totally distasteful.

Then there was a female executive.  The only person not invited to the Executive Board Meeting?  The female executive.  Can this get better?  Yes, it can!

A lovely older woman with silver hair, wrinkles, she smoked on breaks so slightly yellowed teeth, but a long time employee we can call her Elaine.  She and I walked in together, she was buttoned in a double breasted camel hair coat, Burberry scarf, tam hat cocked to the side, and glasses.  She smiled and excitedly asked if I knew what today was?  No, what was it?  She started with the Co. 50 years ago today!  She remembered coming in fresh out of childbirth, signing the employment contract w white gloves on her hands!

I beelined to my boss and asked if the Co. was doing something for her?  He came back and said their records show she is only employed 35 years.  We were confused and called HR.  Well, the answer disgusted us.  Each time she left for maternity leave they stopped the clock and started over.  He asked them to go back into her employment and reconsider her timeline.  In the meantime he took Elaine out to lunch to celebrate.

So this was how women were treated…not invited to the men’s table and the clock stopped ticking on the birthing table.  Could anything be so demeaning? 

Prior to working here I did not have any desire to go to Law School, I did not think I was smart enough, afterwards, I had no desire to ever work in Corporate America again and oh yes, I could handle anything Law School dished out!

However that was over 37 years ago!  I have a hard time understanding how women were unable to break this stronghold we have seen on the news today or that men were able to maintain it.

My father, never one for subtlety, told me not to major in communications.  I would have to sleep my way to the top.  I would not be successful at it as I would consider it a demeaning act and would never play the game.  I thought my father was anything but fatherly for saying this.  To be honest, I still think so.  However in his mind he was.  It was what he knew to be true based upon a connection in communications where this behavior was rampant.  I guess you cannot deny the veracity of his statements today however crass they may have been to a high school senior.  How this has not changed in over 40 years…is unbelievable.   

I cannot believe it was all women treated this way.  It had to be the ones without connections, who needed the jobs, the desperate ones. It is unfair to prey on people’s weaknesses.  It makes people in a position of strength believe they have a G-dlike power.  No one should ever believe that.  In one split second the person on top can become the person on bottom.  You should never take for granted what you have today.  Because what your mother taught you usually is true…what goes around, comes around.  And today, the mighty have fallen.

My husband and I heard Shep Gordon speak at a book festival regarding his book Supermensch.  We had never heard of him.  The most famous person who no one ever heard of.  To hear his story, and how he became this famous producer, by paying it forward was remarkable.  Not by taking advantage of the little guy but by taking care of and treating everyone fairly.  What a novel concept! 

So here is my question:  how did Roy Moore get almost 50% of the vote?


What happened in the past 40 years, did no one stand up to this?  Say I count? Take care of their neighbor?

When I became an attorney I prosecuted Domestic Violence in Ga. in the 1980s.

That was stunning.  Husbands STILL believed they had a right to beat their wives.  Shocked to find out they did not.  I helped implement a Domestic Violence program to offer counseling at early stages.

I returned 14 years later and everyone is still struggling with how to handle this.   Fortunately there are more programs available.  However there needs to be reeducation, rehabilitation, and protection.  I am not sure if it is regional, familial, this is what people have seen growing up so this is what they believe should happen to them, or if they get themselves into a situation they become embarrassed about it. 

Just think, in 1824 they had it on the books that husbands COULD beat their wives.  This is the eve of 2018…let’s hope we have progressed to the point where we can say heck no—you gotta go!

The fact remains, that love should be beautiful. Love does not physically hurt, and love does not kill.  That is abuse.  And that is not alcohol or drugs.  They are disinhibit-ors but there are plenty of pleasant drunks who sit in a corner.  Mean is mean.

And Forrest Gump would call what nearly happened in Alabama something else.

There is no other way to explain what nearly happened.

For the women on television to say they put aside everything they heard about Roy Moore…for shame.  They have no understanding of the big picture.  They are the ones that nearly had their rights and privileges trampled upon.  

This is where you see someone standing on the train track, staring into the train, swearing nothing will happen as it barrels down on them.  How do you stop the train from running them over? When they are willing victims?

How undignified of Roy Moore not to accept defeat graciously.  To kick and scream past the goal post.  LONG past the goal post and the referee?

America still has a long way to go to stand up to equal rights. 

But we are getting there, finally.  One step at a time. Never backward.  Always forward.  One step at a time leads to one day at a time.  A great mantra.

It will take a long time for all this to equalize for Jane Q Public but it is coming.  Finally.

No woman should ever be made to feel demeaned by anyone, in any circumstance.

I am encouraged by so much, and so scared that Roy Moore got nearly 50% of the vote.

So to all of you, let me share that mantra once again…one day at a time!  Sometimes, that is all we’ve got but…we got it!

This country was founded on a promise of equal rights for all, and we have always managed to move closer to that promise, little by little, one day at a time. It may not be easy - but we'll get there together.

Loretta Lynch